I remember that day when..
6 months have passed since we last smiled at each other..
Following those first 3 months, I got a phone call from my mother-in-law, begging me to agree to join her for breakfast. After say no to her so many times, I was, once again, forced to do something I didn’t want to, and that was to accept her invitation.
I got up, got dressed, went to meet her and my sisters in-law for breakfast. I pushed myself to smile and socialize, only to realize one thing…. that was actually fun!
Another week passes by, with that same cloud glooming over me, and at that time it felt normal to be in that state of sadness; only until I accepted another invite for breakfast, we were to celebrate a friend’s birthday, which was once again… fun!
This new feeling I was experiencing, the feeling of Fun, was strange to me at that time. It got me thinking about our situation; am I allowed to have fun so soon? I wondered. It is ok to go out and live about? I questioned myself. Am I ready to live again? I considered. Other than visiting my father every day, praying for his recovery, was there anything else I can do to help? I doubted.
I have forgotten how great it was to be able to feel, to genuinely smile without faking it, and to truly appreciate all the support we’ve been receiving from family and friends.
I have forgotten to believe in fate, to see the good in every situation, and to accept the reality we are in.
Today, I am truly grateful that God has protected my father from living another day with this horrifying disease. Although we mourn and miss him every day, yet, I believe he is in a better place now than he was 6 months ago!
I love you dad & I’ll Miss you Always.